So typically, when I make a salad, it’s not off of a recipe. I mean- almost every salad I make is a garbage salad- just a bunch of minced veggies and a small amount of greens tossed with a homemade vinaigrette.
Well- according to the boyfran, that’s not a salad- he want’s more lettuce. So I bought some . . . DA NUH NUH. . . ICEBERG LETTUCE. WHICH- I never buy because compared to Kale and Spinach, has NO nutritional value. However, I figured an iceberg salad is better than a coney dog topped with a slice of pizza. (Which is something that sounds good to me and probably something he would both bask and bathe in).
Looking through the pantry and fridge, trying to figure out what I had that I could make an iceberg salad with, I remembered a recipe that a work friend had give to me when I was still in high school.( I was a pretty rad 17 year old and worked at a scrap booking store with lots of part-timer Moms, and 60 year old women. ) Just so happens one of these super-scrappin’-grannies gave me this recipe and I ate it religiously for 873 days in row. Can you say, obsessed? It was so simple and addicting. Salty, sweet and crunchy. I hadn’t made this salad in about 5 years, so naturally I ate an entire bowl full tonight. Not like a soup bowl- like the largest size mixing bowl I own.
STATUS: currently washing it down with a nice bottle of cab. #sorryimnotsorry
So- I know these ingredients aren’t the healthiest- granted there’s no bacon, croutons or cheese, but the sodium from the olives isn’t really considered great for you. PLUS, I’m a bit of a salt-whore sooooo there’s that. So pretty much this salad has hardly any nutritional value, but if you eat a gargantuan mixing bowl of it (raising my hand) it’ll fill ya up and make you glad you didn’t eat an entire pizza. Lesser of two evils. YUMMMMM. Recipe is as follows:
- 1/2 head of shredded lettuce
- 1 can Mandarin oranges (get the kind with no added sugar or corn syrup!)
- 1/3 c chopped almonds, or sliced almonds
- 3 tbsp unsweetened coconut (that was my little add in that made it fancy- you already know. . .)
- 2 tbsp Cha Cha Chia!!!! seeds
- sliced white onion. I just threw some in. (I never measure and these are all approximations- again, I’m not the most organized person).
- 1/2 can black olives. Slice ’em in an egg slicer. BOOM.
Dressing:
- 12 shakes of hot sauce of your choice (For this dressing I like Franks Red Hot, or Green Tabasco- my favorite hot sauce EVER)
- 1 teensy eensy baby squirt of Dijon (You don’t want to much of a mustard flavor in this, I just use it as a binding agent for the dressing)
- 1 Tbsp of sugar, or honey
- Seasoning of your choice (I like garlic salt and chili lime for this recipe)
- Chopped parsley if you have it (I didn’t)
- Rice vinegar
- taragon vinegar
- olive oil or salad oil
- Salt and pepper
I typically use 1/4 c vinegar to 3/4 c oil when making dressing.
Toss that shit up and enjoy motha suckas! (Wine’s got me sassy!)
xoxo Kelli
